Here is a simple guide map for empowering you through healthy anger … 1. Notice when you are feeling anger. 2. Ask yourself: "Which of the '3 Purposes of Anger' is this?" (Has a boundary been violated; is a boundary about to be breached; is my soul calling me to grow?) 3. Notice any tendency in you to direct this anger inward or aggressively outward. Get yourself into your Observer Continue Reading
The Soul’s Calling
Anger is always the soul calling us. Either it is identifying to us - through our experience of pain and betrayal - where a boundary needs to be created to repair and thus to preserve our integrity. Or it is identifying to us pro-actively - through evoking our anger or even our rage prior to a potential boundary breaching event - that a boundary we have in place is non-negotiable. Or - our anger, one of our most valuable inner Continue Reading
The Faces of Anger
There are many faces of anger. Just like the Inuit who have some twenty-two words to describe the subtleties and nuances of what we call 'snow', there are many shades of anger. Let's explore some of these - to unmask them, shifting us into power - our ability to navigate our way through them and into greater joy. Frustration, irritation, edginess, resentment, passive aggressiveness, impatience, cynicism, sarcasm, pointed jokes, withdrawal, Continue Reading
What are Boundaries? – Part Two
Healthy boundaries arise from the level of our instinct. They are our deeper wisdom's way of telling us what we need to do or say in order to preserve our well-being. As humans we spend a lot of time and resources creating and maintaining boundaries toward others and toward nature. We spend relatively little time and resources setting inner boundaries toward ourselves. It is the latter kind of boundary that hones our maturity - Continue Reading
What are Boundaries? – Part One
Boundaries are the mechanisms via which we protect and enhance our integrity. It is easy for us to comprehend physical boundaries. We understand and we accept that fences are erected to keep dogs out of gardens and children in safe playgrounds. Longitudinal and latitudinal check points are maintained at roads and at ports to defend countries and to maintain their perceived sovereignty. We keep liquids that are poisonous locked away from Continue Reading
The ‘Map of Emotions’ – #2 – Guilt
Guilt is slightly more energetic than shame. Healthy guilt does serve a purpose. When we do or say something which is derogatory or boundary breaching towards ourself or someone else, guilt arises to alert us to this. When we recognize our inappropriate behavior and discipline ourself to not engage in this again, the energy of guilt falls away. Its message has been received. There is no reason for it to linger. Many people wallow in Continue Reading
Where Your Anger Hides – Part Three
Take a moment to imagine a future situation in which anger arises in you - either 'provoked' by an outer circumstance, or simply because your soul is asking you - inviting you - to grow. Notice yourself making a more empowered choice - choosing to respond to the message of your anger and either create a boundary where it was breached, create a boundary before it is breached, or follow the fresh, new guidance of your soul. How do you Continue Reading
Recognizing the 3 Purposes of Anger in Your Life
Take a moment to reflect on a recent situation in which you felt anger. Which of these 3 Purposes was the anger fulfilling? 1. Was the anger rising inside of you endeavoring to alert you to a boundary that had been breached? And / or to the need to create a boundary … precisely … 'there'? 2. Was the anger present inside of you endeavoring to alert you to this: that unless you erect or fortify a boundary, it is about to be breached? Was Continue Reading
3 Purposes of Anger – #2
2. The second way in which most people - as they become more sensitive and alert to the nuances of anger - begin to recognize that they are experiencing anger is this: Before a boundary is about to be breached. They are attentive enough to their inner guidance - their inner wisdom - to recognize that their anger is a premonition. It is giving them foresight, encouraging them to erect a boundary before it is overstepped. As people Continue Reading
3 Purposes of Anger – #1
There are three distinct reasons why anger arises. Anger is an intelligence. It is our higher wisdom - our soul, our 'higher self' - speaking to us. Until now, we've not recognized this. And so we've not realized what it is saying. 1. The first way in which most people begin to recognize that they are experiencing anger is this: After a boundary has been breached. The purpose of anger in this case is to alert them to where Continue Reading